Beyond The Confusion Episode 2: Welcome to Branson: A Land of Hillbillies and 50-Foot Chickens Sponsored by the Branson Chamber of Commerce
- confusedstate51
- Nov 12
- 11 min read
The 50-Foot Chicken
We start with Lud discussing a new venture with the Branson Chamber of Commerce having a Dear John Giveaway, a new partnership for the single guy looking to have a great date in Branson. The date involves a day on the town starting with a voyage on the Titanic Museum, then a beautiful cruise from Branson Landing through Table Lock Lake courtesy of Ride the Duck's Branson and if you survive it ends with a "Romantic Evening farewell" (air quotes) at Dick's Last Resort restaurant. This will be the first in a series of individual quirky commercials that will be a recurring segment throughout the rest of the season. A separate blog post will discuss the thought process on these topics.
We then jump in on Lud recalling his love of shining objects of which Branson has plenty. As Lud has Audhd (a blend of Autism/ADHD), he gets distracted with many shiny objects. Branson has many shiny objects from major statues of King Kong, a huge Titanic boat hitting an iceberg, an oversized camera peering over a red carpet, and a huge transformer greeting people in front of an earthquake ravaged building.
The above are just referencing the many kitsch museums that will rob you blind if you are not careful. It does not stop there however, as there are restaurants with shiny objects that will stop you in your tracks. One example, is an Italian restaurant whose entrance has a giant fork stabbing straight into a 6 to 8-foot round meatball right in front of the restaurant entrance. Another take is a restaurant might take a quirky name to get attention such as Starvin' Marvin's or Getting Basted. I personally find these cute and prefer this strategy over the shiny object approach. But the real eye sore is a giant 50-foot rooster (in reality it is 42-feet) dressed in a red-white-and blue patriotic suit with his legs, stretched out and positioned on both sides of the main walkway as you head to the restaurant. As a result, you must walk under the chicken's hindquarters losing any sense of dignity and respect on your dinner date night out.
As we discuss, Lud discusses how he always dreamed of dining at the 50-foot chicken because of the wienie. A wienie is a term Disney uses at theme parks to a landmark that will draw you in for attention and this restaurant definitely had that attention getter. So, he begged his friend and her daughter to go there for dinner. He later regretted it but not before being asked by a family of tourists who wanted to know how the meal was. Lud did not give a specific answer but walked her through what they just did which was walking under a giant patriotic chicken and then asking them how they think it will be based on how they had to enter the restaurant. After taking a moment to glance, and look at the surroundings of the restaurant, the family turned all the around and exited without comment. Once that happened, we all just started laughing, making it a great end to our day.
When In Branson avoid the shiny objects. However, I do recommend Starvin' Marvins. They do have a buffet, but I have ordered off the menu, and I love the cajun Spaghetti. It is not overly spicy but it is very tasty!
Quick notes on segment one:
Sound Effect Credits:
Chickens clucking and rooster with cockadoodledoo.wav by evsecrets -- https://freesound.org/s/346961/ -- License: Creative Commons 0
Diarrhea by Breviceps -- https://freesound.org/s/445997/ -- License: Creative Commons 0
Christian Childrens Fund Sally Struthers Ad was pulled from a Youtube Video (My mind is a pop culture machine. I remember old ads and a lot of stuff is not scripted. We have photos and go over what we will talk about but then a lot of going off rails. Post show I listen to it, and then if I reference something I remember like Sally Struthers, I go back and find the audio file to put in in.
Segment two - Spruce overview & Lud's Never Going Organic
Spruce gave an overview of Branson. When this was taped, a quick behind the scenes moment on this. I had some voice prompts for him to give some facts on Branson, Missouri. I had some lines written for him to start out in the beginning and at the outro so it would be conversational between me and him. I did not cross-check his facts. At this time, I was learning generative AI and just decided to farm team him out. Over the next month or so, as I was utilizing AI to help me write and also noticed items when researching that were bad, I immediately stopped using AI for writing and research. We get into this on our next episode but long story short, I listened to what he said and came up with. After hearing his narrative, I was comfortable that the information he provided was very accurate. The only information I was not certain on were when he provided visitor and revenue numbers for the region.
Organic Diet Fears
Our hosts went to Silver Dollar City to enjoy an Old Time Christmas during their vacation. Lud's family and friends have always pleaded for him to improve his eating habits and encouraged him to go organic. He was about to do this until he entered Silver Dollar City and saw this sign.
Our hosts then debate this sign. Annette says it is fine, but Lud is afraid of the Frankensteinish nature and will not go anywhere near this. He will never try an organic diet, especially if organic means food will walk, move, dance or do some weird live like movement. It is too creepy for him to take that risk, so no thank you!
Quick Attributions
sfx_thunder blast.wav by bajko -- https://freesound.org/s/399656/ -- License: Creative Commons 0
Silver Dollar City Theme Park - www.silverdollarcity.com
Bathrooms & Inclusiveness???
After our talk on biology, organisms, and tacos we dove into the topic of our biology and the need of what may happen if we eat a lot of walking tacos and other amusement park food which results in using the bathroom.
We took a visit to Branson's Hard Luck Diner where aspiring artists who want to be the next pop artist or Broadway Star take your order and then at random times will sing songs while trying to sell their independent CD's to market themselves.
During our last visit, when we had to use the bathroom they had a sign for the restrooms that resulted in more questions than answers.
This segment of the show is probably our funniest segment. We were just going to talk about the sign, and we ended up in a rabbit hole bringing up stuff that was not even ever mentioned in the pre-show meeting.
Being neurodivergent, one can make communication more complex to where you see a message or directions where it has so much more information than necessary, it results in overcomplicating and confusing certain individuals. I am just wanting to use the rest rooms and am grateful there is a sign. But then you had to add the word clean into the mix.
This is a restaurant that has to operate to city health codes. I would hope the rest rooms would be clean. But clean could be an adjective or a verb depending on what they are trying to say. In English, sometimes the subject is implied. They could be saying You clean the restrooms, with the you not seen and the management meaning for the clean to be a verb. It could also just be a adjective letting the tourists know that we have clean restrooms.
But here is my question, why do you need to say that? We want clean rest rooms especially if we are eating in a city establishment. So is this an inclusion initiative by the restaurant because sometimes I just love dirt and grime. If you are indicating that the clean rest rooms are here, are there dirty rest rooms for people who prefer those in the name of inclusion and where are those? Are you implying that you want me to clean the rest rooms when I am spending 20 dollars on a burger? Heck no! I should not have to do that. I am a little bit troubled here and I am not sure what you are getting at.
We end up going down the rabbit hole on gas stations, and how they give you a key you could club someone to death and we discuss if there is a convention of gas station employees that came up with that? We wonder if anyone has ever been clubbed to death, and Annette talks about the fine fragrances of gas station rest rooms? We also discuss the many problems with English language and how it is time to get rid of the term urinal cake as it is not something we would have for dessert! It was quite the topic as we headed to break!
Quick Attributions
Baddum Tish - Comedy Rimshots - classic rim shot.wav by rodincoil -- https://freesound.org/s/271208/ -- License: Creative Commons 0
cracksmackwhackdead.aiff by bevibeldesign -- https://freesound.org/s/315914/ -- License: Creative Commons 0
three_facepunches by opriema -- https://freesound.org/s/783116/ -- License: Creative Commons 0
Commercial Breaks
We start a tradition on the podcast which is doing a satirical commercial or short bit on every broadcast. In our premiere you heard old skits K-Lite Dateline and a segment from an old podcast where I parodied Mambo Number 5. The first episode had a real sponsor as well Launch Pad Job Club who I cannot say great things about! There are going to be upcoming posts where I write about production skits, utilizing tools I learned from attending a $600 valued neurodiversion conference that Launch Pad Job Club gifted me this year, so they got a barter ad in the first episode I made. They are a wonderful non-profit.
The first parody ad is themed to the episode and it deals with a major news story from six years ago. I will have a separate post on this but just a couple of quick notes. To avoid any legal issues, I did put a disclaimer in front and in back, to make certain that everyone knew this was a satire piece and the offer did not exist. In the other essay piece I will explain the inspiration for this particular bit and why I wrote it. Every regular show will have satire skits during commercial breaks. The only episode that may not will be a special bonus holiday episode that we just added due to some unique production elements we will be doing for that specific episode that may take a lot of time to execute.
Irony: Amish Odds & Ends for Sale include Microwave Popcorn?
Barn raisings, horse and buggies, and kerosene lamps define the way of life for many Amish communities. Many sell butter, furniture, and crafts at various stores as well as various jams and jellies. We do know that they live without electricity.
So when we were shopping for gifts to bring back home, we were perplexed among various jams and jellies, we noticed a package for Amish microwave popcorn. As soon as we saw that our brain power surged into action and the brain kernels in our head were about to pop out of our sockets.
How can a community that lives without electricity, know anything about microwave popcorn, let alone doing quality assurance tasting tests for it? Annette and Lud talked about chuckwagon races and the community of Amish and Mennonite individuals in Arkansas to try to make sense of it all.
We floated that maybe they have contractors who license their religion and sell this brand using their community and they get a percentage of sales. I just want to contact the attorney general to know if this is legitimate.
Quick Attributions
Baddum Tish - Comedy Rimshots - classic rim shot.wav by rodincoil -- https://freesound.org/s/271208/ -- License: Creative Commons 0
In case you want some Sweet Kettle Amish Microwave Popcorn (Disclaimer: We do not make any money off of this and we do not know if this is any good or not. Buy and taste at your own risk LOL): Sweet Kettle Corn Microwave Popcorn - Individual Bag
National Chuckwagon races: National Championship Chuckwagon Race | National Championship Chuckwagon Races | Bar of Ranch in Clinton, Arkansas
Discriminating Soda???
As we finish up the show, we come back to the English language which dominated our bathroom segment.
Lud shared with the audience his non-conformist ways and never drinking Coca-Cola but not having anything against it. He just loves Pepsi products like Mountain Dew and loves to go against the grain. But then at Silver Dollar City he saw an ad in the ice cream parlor themed as it should to the 1880s theme park that just really concerned him and wanted to do an intervention starting with his co-host who occasionally may drink a Coca-Cola knowing full well they are loving and kind individuals.
As seen above, Coke is the ideal beverage for the discriminating individual. Lud was never happier to be a Pepsi/Mountain Dew drinker than the very day he found this ad. Annette pointed out that she is certain this is not what that meant and words have changed meaning. Lud acknowledging this fair debate pointed out however that Coke was created in Atlanta, Georgia in the 1800's and we must factor that in to the discussion.
Regardless, both hosts know that people who drink coke in the audience are not hateful and that the language of this ad back then meant an entirely different thing than it would if it was to be used in ad copy today. One thing is for certain, the English langue and how we communicate can be a booger at times. As Lud said, he loves Pepsi because Pepsi has always been on fire, just look at the Michael Jackson ad and its blaze of Glory in the 1980's (rimshot.)
References:
We hope you enjoyed the show and on the 26th we will discuss Artificial Intelligence!
References:
Show website: https://confusedstate51.wixsite.com/confusedstate51
Social Media: Youtube, X/Twitter, & Facebook: @Confusedstate51
Info on Branson: https://www.explorebranson.com
Silver Dollar City Theme Park: https://www.silverdollarcity.com
Hard Luck Diner Branson: https://melshardluckdiner.com
Michael Jackson and Pepsi Hair on Fire Story: BBC ON THIS DAY | 27 | 1984: Michael Jackson burned in Pepsi ad
National Chuckwagon races: National Championship Chuckwagon Race | National Championship Chuckwagon Races | Bar of Ranch in Clinton, Arkansas
Titanic Attraction Branson (please remember this was part of a satire ad commercial while a real attraction the ad we did and trip package
does not exist - Experience the Titanic Museum | Branson & Pigeon Forge
Branson Ride the Ducks (again this is a real attraction, but the referenced ad it was in was a satirical commercial for a trip package that does not exist. A separate post about the writing and concept for the bit will be in another blog post on this website) - Branson Duck Tour | Time To Set Sail | Book Your Seat Now!
Dick's last Resort (there is no Dick's last resort in Branson - once again the ad references said restaurant but the vacation package in the ad does not exist and is satire) - Home - Dick's Last Resort -
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